OK so the Celtics beat the 76ers last night and have won three in a row and Jayson Tatum had 35 points and Derrick White lost some teeth (again) and that's all fine and great.
Now that that's out of the way, we can talk about the real story of the week: Payton Pritchard and Derrick White going absolutely nuclear on Wednesday night against the Trail Blazers.
This is my favorite Celtics game of the season, and maybe of the Joe Mazzulla era, and possibly ever?
In case you missed it, Pritchard and White each erupted for 40-plus points in a win over Portland, both posting career-highs (43 for Pritchard, 41 for White) in one of the most unexpected dominant duo performances I have ever seen.
If I told you that a pair of Celtics were each going to score 40 in the same game this season, you might be like, "sure, that seems reasonable, Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown are one of the best scoring duos in the league, they almost did just that against Cleveland!" And then if I told you: no, actually, it'll be Payton Pritchard and Derrick White ... you might have scheduled an intervention.
Here's some of the history that Pritchard and White set on Wednesday:
Not a bad night at work!
The bit about the first Celtics teammates to score 40-plus is going to be an incredible trivia question someday (maybe even in this newsletter, should it survive long enough), as people respond with logical answers like Bird and McHale, Tatum and Brown, or Cowens and Havlicek, just to be thwarted by Boston's fourth- and fifth-leading scorers in early 2025.
You could call it an up-and-down week for White, who followed up the best scoring performance of his career by getting his teeth knocked out on the court for the second time in like nine months.
Turns out, White was supposed to go see his dentist two weeks ago to have his temporary teeth -- earned on the night the Celtics won the title last June -- replaced with a permanent bridge. He pushed off the dentist appointment (stars, they're just like us!) and paid the price.
Anyway, a strong start to the week for the Celtics with two wins (or three, depending on if you think the week starts on Sunday or Monday) despite plenty of absences. Jrue Holiday and Kristaps Porzingis have each missed the last four games, Tatum didn't play Wednesday, and Brown and Al Horford didn't play Thursday.
Boston might still be a little undermanned for a blockbuster on Saturday night, as the star-studded Lakers come to town to renew the rivalry in primetime.
Speaking of 40, could you all do me a favor and compare these two players for me:
Pretty comparable statistical profiles, right?
Player A, you may like to know, is LeBron James in 2012-13, perhaps his absolute peak as a player, when he was one vote short (shoutout to Globe colleague Gary Washburn) of becoming the NBA's first unanimous MVP.
And Player B? That is also LeBron James -- since he turned 40 at the end of December.
Saturday's ticket is, unsurprisingly, extremely hot, with the get-in price as of Friday morning north of $400. Alternatively, you can snag a pair of courtside seats for a cool $30,000, if you wanted to sell your car, take out a second mortgage, and perhaps give up your firstborn child for a chance to see LeBron up close. I think it's a worthwhile investment.
In Los Angeles, Luka Doncic shook off the disappointment, shock, and humiliation of the trade and has dedicated himself to getting to premium shape, meshing with LeBron James, and embracing the love from a fan base that adores its stars.
The Lakers were considered no better than a second-round team in the Western Conference before Doncic's arrival, and now they have catapulted to the No. 2 seed, going 11-2 since the trade despite Doncic's offensive struggles.
In nine games since joining the Lakers, Luka Doncic has averaged 22.9 points, 8.2 rebounds, and 7.7 assists.
Yet his mere presence and ability to handle the ball take the point guard duties away from James and have been a wonder for the offense.
Congratulations to Jaylen Brown and ESPN's Doris Burke, each first-time winners of the Joe Mazzulla Quote of the Week.
Each had some kind words for Celtics big man Al Horford during (or after) Sunday's win over the Nuggets, in which Horford was played a pivotal role down the stretch in the absence of Kristaps Porzingis.
"What a luxury that the Celtics have, down Kristaps Porzingis, who's pivotal," Burke mused during the game. "Al is 111 years old, and still playing at a high level."
Late in the game, Brown dished off to Horford for a crucial bucket; the 38-year-old's finish wasn't the most convincing as what seemed like a sure dunk had to be converted as more of a layup, but Brown was understanding.
"He's supposed to dunk that," Brown joked after the game, "but he's got five kids, so we'll let it slide."
Hey, you know who are an absolute mess? The Phoenix Suns!
The Suns put together an All-Star trio in Kevin Durant, Devin Booker, and Bradley Beal over the last couple of seasons, and the results have been deeply underwhelming.
After a perfectly respectable 49-33 finish last year (before getting run off the court in a sweep by the Timberwolves in the playoffs), Phoenix has fallen apart this season, currently sporting a 29-33 record that has the Suns on the outside looking in for a playoff spot.
And while there are teams in much worse shape from a basketball results perspective (see: Philadelphia), there are few squads for whom the vibes are worse.
As this all unfolds, Durant continues his usual habit of arguing with fans on social media, because, you know, why not.
On the bright side, the future looks pretty solid in Phoenix. The Suns are already over the second salary apron, have zero depth or financial flexibility, mortgaged all their assets and picks for Durant and Beal (who they are actively trying to get rid of), and will still likely miss the playoffs.
In case you're ever wondering just how good Celtics fans have it, you can always use a reminder.
The Celtics are off Friday before hosting the Lakers in primetime on Saturday (8:30 p.m., ABC).
See the full Celtics schedule here.