Lilly is the associate editor at Brides. She joined the staff in 2021 and covers real weddings, wedding décor, wedding news, and more. Her work is also featured in The Knot, The Bash, and Tracy Anderson's The Edit and Tracy Anderson Mind, Body, and Soul.
For many engaged couples, creating the wedding guest list is a tricky situation -- oftentimes, to-be-weds try to weigh their personal preferences against other people's feelings. Sometimes, though, the decision to exclude someone from the event trumps any possible hurt it might cause, like in one instance on Reddit's "Am I the A------" on September 18, 2024. In the online tale, the bride writing in said she refused to invite her stepmother to her wedding due to a number of hurtful situations and comments -- especially when this woman bribed her dad with $15,000 to divorce his wife (her mom).
The bride, who's getting married in a few months, provided some context, explaining that her parents got a divorce when she was three years old, and his now-wife was the initiator: She bribed her dad with $15,000 to end his marriage -- a story that the woman herself confirmed, according to the bride's post. Throughout the years, the father of the bride's now-wife continued to do "hurtful things" to the original poster and her brother. "For example, she once told my brother that he was almost not born," the bride admitted.
The bride said she's tried to confront her dad -- with whom she has a "shaky relationship" -- about these upsetting situations with his wife, but he chooses not to listen. "He always brushes them under the rug, gets defensive, or refuses to discuss them," the bride revealed.
Even though her dad hasn't necessarily heard his daughter out, the bride has still decided to invite him to her wedding. His wife, though, isn't on the guest list. "The older I get, the more angry and disgusted I feel towards her," the bride expressed. While the OP is firm in her decision, her future spouse has encouraged her to "be more forgiving" of her dad's wife, according to her post. The bride pointed out, though, that her partner doesn't know all of the details about her relationship with this woman. Because her partner has asked her to reconsider, the OP is now looking to Reddit for advice.
The internet gave the bride complete permission to follow through with her decision to leave her stepmom off of the wedding guest list. "She is not family to you," a Redditor commented. "She is not a friend of yours. As a home-wrecking affair partner she has no place at a wedding." Others reaffirmed her choice because it's her day, no one else's, so she doesn't need to justify it. "Don't invite her if you don't want to," another wrote. "Your day is about celebrating with loved ones. She's not counted among those."
While the Reddit community explained her stepmother was obviously in the wrong, they mainly vilified the OP's dad because he was the one who accepted the bribe. "The dad sabotaged the marriage," one person claimed. "The stepmom was just the woman he chose to wreck it with." Many encouraged the bride to cut ties with her dad. "He's toxic and doesn't need to be in your life," another said.